That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
