You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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