If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
