Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
