She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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