Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize