I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
