I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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