And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
