Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you had me at cake vodka
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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