he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
