I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
