Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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