I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
