East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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