i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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