Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
