A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
