Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
