her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is that strawberry winking at me??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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