Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
