JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
