there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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