hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
