After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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