So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
As shirtless as possible
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
