recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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