sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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