if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
