yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize