So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
