She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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