it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
