He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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