took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize