There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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