I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
