YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
