i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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