see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We are two peas in an std pod
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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