My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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