my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the day after is always just damage control
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
