just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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