Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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