check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
