She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
