her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
