I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
