it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
