just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Your penis caused this!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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