Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
