And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
