I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
