dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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