This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
