you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
