but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
