I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
