Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
as a side note pls kill me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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