ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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