Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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