Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it hurts more in the daytime
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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