I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I could fuck to npr.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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