Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize