Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just cropdusted the office
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
