when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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