I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
whose parrot is this?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize