Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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