STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
