Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
