Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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