If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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