using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
